The Heart Sees What the Eyes Cannot
by princessblair
Summary: After an accident, Levi plays psychiatrist to Eren as he lends his eyes to let him see the world. Modern a/u. Rated for a few swear words
1. Chapter 1

Hi there! I- I really don't know what this is, I can only hope you'll forgive me for this inconsistent, loopholey shit i've written and honestly it was for my enjoyment at first but then I thought I need to share my angst with the whole wide world so we can be angsty together... and yeah. So, yeah I'm aware of all the loopholes, honestly I didn't know what to make of this, I'm still confused- just please try and read it tell me what to improve and i'll *kinda* edit it. Kinda cause i'm a lazy bum who never proofreads her work. Anyway, I am god thankful for my girlfriend, she's amazing and she's the one who pushed ans pushed and pushed me (off the bed) to write this trash and helped me improve it abit so that it's somewhat *readable* Also, check out Beyonce's "XO" it has been my inspiration for this.

Don't let my rambling stop you, though... RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Oh, this is rated due to language so be mindful of that.

I love you and I thank you!

* * *

"Oh, just have one more glass before you go!"

In hindsight, he probably thinks it was the biggest mistake of his life that he took the glass of beer Hanji had shoved in his face.

Levi had begrudgingly allowed himself to finally release the confines of solidarity of his boring life and allowed Hanji and the rest of the office gang to drag him to the nearest pub. They'd told him that it was for the celebration of the account they had landed but in reality these idiots will grab any chance they can get to drink. It's perhaps borderline alcoholic, but in all honesty he does not give a shit and he reluctantly presses the cold glass of beer to his lips to take a swig.

"Such a long face Levi, lighten up a bit!"

He finishes his beer in another long gulp and grabs his coat. It's raining and he does not take any chances so he refuses another promise of an alcoholic beer and a good time. He does not feel woozy or tipsy, nor light headed instead he deduces he's quite sober and that's good enough for him.

He pulls out a white handkerchief from his pocket and pushes the door of the pub with it. There's a slight drizzle, nothing that's too heavy for him not to be able to drive.

x

He taps his fingers impatiently at the wheel, his eyes kept narrowed at the red light that has been taunting him for the past 2 minutes. He briefly wonders if the light is broken, it's unusually slow, but most likely he thinks that he's just quite agitated. Finally the lights turn green and he grumbles in defeat and shifts gears to move. He doesn't notice the fast motorcycle to his right; he did, however, hear a loud thud against his car.

Thinking it was an animal he had run over, Levi's blood runs cold at the lanky figure of a boy splayed face down in front of his car.

x

He'd brought the boy to the nearest hospital. The past eight hours had been pure hell for him and wonders if it would be much worse for the boy. Several police officers had interviewed him for a testimony, all had been polite but one had insisted for a breathalyzer.

"_For references"_ The officer explained and quiet honestly he was about ready to do anything to cooperate and just get it done with. He passed the test, of course, after all he knew he was sober enough to drive- he wasn't that irresponsible. He couldn't help himself however to feel guilty about what happened to the boy.

A light tapping sound beside him pulled him out of his thoughts. The girl beside him had arrived 2 hours after the accident had happened and had been a mess. The police claimed she's the closest living relative, _his adopted sister_ and she has been beyond restless since the minute she stepped in. He had expected her to shout at him or at least smack him silly, instead she had offered him coffee and asked what happened calmly but was extremely agitated. They stopped talking and formed an uncomfortable silence with each other, the boy had been in surgery and they had yet to get some news.

Levi had promised to shoulder all the costs and anything that entails and surprisingly, she had promised not to file a case against him insisting that her brother wouldn't have wanted to, anyway. Every time he tried to say sorry she would wave her hand and tell him it wasn't his fault. He could only nod his head in gratefulness and part guilt and she would return to fumbling with her cell phone.

"Excuse me; are you the sister of Eren Jaeger?"

They lift their tired heads at the voice, she gingerly stands up and nods her head. They hold their breaths at the news that awaits them.

"Good news is, he's stable now- all of his vitals are okay but the bad news is…" The girl's breath hitch on her throat and Levi's heart constricts in guilt.

"The thing is that small shards of glass made its way to his eyes. It ruptured the irises and we thought we could save it with a transplant but-"

"But what?" Her voice sounds croaky and ready to cry.

"He's permanently blind, I'm sorry." Levi curses the bluntness of the doctor and he watched him leave them both, one in awkward cluelessness on how to comfort the other.

x

He hails himself a cab so he does not risk another accident. It's turmoil of emotions inside him and he lets himself push everything aside to feel them all at once. It's guilt, pain, confusion and anger in a bottle and he doesn't know how to handle it. His cell phone vibrates to notify a message, he fishes it from his pockets and confusion completely overtakes him when he reads the message.

_At least promise me you'll visit him every day._

_-Mikasa sent: 2:33 am January 21, 2012_

_x_

Sleep had eluded him last night and he's eternally grateful that it was his day off today. The nurses had instantly recognized him and they point him towards the direction of his room right away. His hands start to get clammy, he doesn't wonder why, it's not every day you'll meet someone that you've blinded so he allows himself to get nervous and scared. He knocks on the door twice and Mikasa's voice filtered him with a resonant '_come in'_.

She says her goodbye to the boy kissing him on the forehead, mumbling incoherent words on his ear. He was only able to make out the words 'he's here', 'classes' and 'back later' and she sends her regards to the both of them as she tried to scamper away from the room. He noted that she forgot to introduce him and in all his awkward glory, he does not know what to do so he stands mute in the middle of the room staring at the bandaged head of the boy he had hit with his car 18 hours ago.

"Are you the psychiatrist?" The boy's voice is a mere squeak and if he wasn't so hideously pitiful, Levi would've laughed.

"What's your name?" The boy did not give him time to answer the previous question and that Levi should've corrected him, but he didn't.

"Levi."

"Oh wow, what a cool name. I'm Eren by the way. Eren Jaeger." Despite his conditions, he was able to smile and be cheerful and Levi thinks he's probably hit the kid's head too hard as well. There is seriously something wrong with him if he's not even crying or angry.

"Nice to meet you, kid." He takes the seat closest to the bed and lets himself settle. His fingers itch from lack of circulation and it reminds him that he's brought fruits with him.

"I'm not a kid anymore, I'm 19 already." He scoffs at the statement, and pulls out oranges from the plastic bag. Eren's head follows its distinctive scent as Levi plops the fruits down by his bedside table.

"Can I have some of those?" Eren sniffed the air; the tangerine citrus scent fragrance is wonderful.

"Uh, sure." He peels one carefully and pulls back a piece to place on one of Eren's upturned hands. The boy slowly tries to eat it, narrowly missing his mouth. He lets his hands drop and Levi almost missed the solitary tear that dripped down his cheek. The boy hastily wiped it and successfully ate the orange this time.

"Aren't you going to ask me how I'm feeling?" Eren's sudden question threw Levi off guard.

"Oh, uh. How are you feeling, kid?"

"Since you asked so nicely, I'm fine." His words were a verbal irony of the scene that had just taken place and Levi truthfully didn't know how to react.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" Concern lacing with his voice and he tries to bite back the apology that he had prepared. Even if Mikasa insisted that he would be fine, he wasn't so sure about that anymore.

"My head is pounding a bit and my eyes sting. Is that normal?" The boy's head is turned towards him and if he wasn't bandaged and blind he's sure that the kid would be staring at him. Either way it makes him uneasy.

"How should I know, I'm not your surgeon."

"That's a good point."

"Look, uh kid…" He stands up and dusts his lap, the visit has already taken too much toll on him and he thinks the kid needs some rest.

"Call me Eren, please." His head bobbed to the direction of his voice, dark brown hair fell over his dressings.

"Uh, Eren. You need some rest today. I'll come back tomorrow for our… uh… sessions."

"You don't sound too sure."

"I am sure you brat- sorry- anyway rest tonight and I'll be back." Levi quickly reigned in his temper; he was in no position to be angry at the kid.

"Okay. Take care…" _Is this kid for real?_

He shuts the door behind him and he exhales the breath he didn't know he was holding.

x

Levi came prepared for today and had googled some facts about the trauma Eren might be dealing with. It wasn't healthy for him to visit or to lie to the kid but it does help ease out some of the guilt he's dealing with.

The nurses nod at him as he passed by and he opens the door to Eren's, his heavy backpack punching his spinal column with every bounce he makes. He filled his bag up to the brim with books that he thought he could read to Eren and maybe they could have something to talk about.

Mikasa wasn't in sight when he entered.

"Uh, Levi? Is that you?" Eren turned his head towards the patter of his footsteps as he drops his bag and sits next to his bed.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Your cologne." Levi's brows furrow in confusion, he's never worn cologne before and he tells Eren just that.

"Oh? Well, all of my senses are sharper now being…" He clears his throat to shove down the lump that has formed. "It might be your natural scent, you smell like fresh lemons and soap." It made sense to Levi since he's always been a germaphobe and the scent of cleanliness seemed to have stuck on him.

"How are you feeling today?" Levi dutifully asks. "A lot better, actually. It feels kinds nice to have super hearing and smell." Oddly, Levi felt proud of the kid. He was taking everything in a stride.

"How will this change your life?" He asks it cautionary, he didn't want to offend Eren but at the same time he wanted to know if there was something he could do, if he could.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, are you in school or something? Do you play sports?"

"Oh! Mikasa's taking care of everything for me… and I don't know what this means for me really… maybe you should ask that question when thing's have settled, yeah?" Their thoughts swarm around the room as a heavy cloud of awkwardness looms right above them. Remembering his bag he pulls out a book.

"I have a book with me would you like me to read it to you?"

"I'd like that very much."

On the third day of his visit, he still brings the book with him to fill the void of silence that usually falls in between them. As usual, when he'd arrived Mikasa had already left and he grabs the chair closest to Eren.

Levi looks out the window and he could see the heavy snow starting to melt.

"If you could look outside the window, there's a big tree just outside your room. The white snow seemed to have piled up from yesterday's snowstorm and it's starting to melt now." He had stopped reading midway just to describe the scene before him. He hadn't thought he might've offended the kid and with no reaction from the kid, he tried to quickly apologize but Eren's voice had cut him off.

"Are there kids playing outside? Levi didn't bother hiding the marginal widening of his eyes, _the kid is blind after all_, _he can be privy to my momentary weakness, _as he walks closer to the window. He peaks down below and sees a group of kids building a snowman at the park nearby.

"Yeah there are."

"I can imagine it." Levi turns to Eren and sees him smiling softly at the fond memory.

"I hate kids." Levi's heart lightened a bit when Eren's laughter filled his ears.

x

One week has passed since the accident and Levi had visited everyday without fail. He would always bring the book along with him; the kid had appreciated his readings and had even noted that he would make a wonderful voice actor if he had wanted to. He chuckled at the stupid suggestion as his palms push open the door.

Routinely he asks how Eren's feeling. He would give non-committal answers: '_I'm okay', 'I feel kinda light-headed', 'I'm fine' or the occasional 'I'm still alive'_ which frightens Levi to no end with his lack of any extreme emotion. He's the one to talk though; the kid's probably the closest thing he has that he could remotely call a friend due to his attitude- so really he can't say how disturbing his nonplussed attitude is.

Along with asking how he's doing, he would also read a book every day to Eren, he had yet to finish one and they're halfway done with the one he first brought along.

"Your voice is so calming and relaxing." Eren's comment doesn't surprise him anymore, on his fifth day Eren had started describing his voice in an array of words and today isn't a new one. Still, it flatters him but he makes no attempts to thank the kid. He continues his reading but was easily distracted when Eren started patting his bed, seemingly looking for something.

"What do you want?" His tone was indifferent almost irritated but Eren's used to it by now and he doesn't mind.

"I want to hold your hand and see if it's as warm as your voice."

For the second time that week he doesn't hide the amusement in his face.

He stops Eren from all the stupid paddling he's making with a tight grip on both of his hands.

Eren takes mental notes that Levi's hands are warmer than his voice.

x

By now, almost two months has passed since the accident. Levi dutifully visits every day, although sometimes in his mind it isn't much of a duty. He doesn't mention this to Eren, however. With a new book in tow (They've just finished the book he's first brought); he habitually greets the regular nurses by the stations. They nod in respect and he pushes the door.

Mikasa has been a permanent fixture in his life now, too. Most of the time she tends to leer away but he knows she's practically living there with her brother. Before, she would ask Levi to accompany Eren for at least an hour but now he would stay after work for far more than what she asks. She's a hard worker, and he admires that. She's juggling to stay in college while working as a waitress to help him with the bills but he would always vehemently refuse it so she spends it by spoiling Eren rotten with food. He's far better off and the hospital bills would hardly bring a bump to his wallet- after all, he's never spent money besides his house and car and it only helps to alleviate some of the guilt he's still feeling.

Levi had to ask Mikasa not to tell her brother that he was the driver. She was hesitant at first but she eventually agreed.

He spots Mikasa kissing her brother on the temple goodbye and she pulls her bag on her shoulders and makes a quick exit after she gave him a friendly wave. The door shuts behind her and he takes the seat beside Eren as usual.

He asks Eren how he's doing today but Eren just sat in silence. He waits for the boy to talk.

"They're going to try and remove my bandage today. I don't know what this means for me, they think I should stay a bit more and try and rehabilitate." Levi had already heard this from Mikasa, she had sent him a message earlier this morning so he wasn't able to act surprised at the news.

"You probably know this already, huh? Since you're the psychiatrist?" The word feels heavy on his ears but he nods, the faint rustle of his clothes moving lets Eren know he's agreed.

They fall into silence, something that was rare nowadays but not entirely extinct. He almost speaks but a look on Eren's face makes his voice falter. The kid was crying and he didn't know what to do so he stays still and hopes by a miracle that he would stop. He did.

"I'm sorry. It's just—everyday I wake up and I can't help but think that this is it for me." He wipes his tears and Levi is still frozen stupid.

"I'm afraid that my life's defined by this…. I don't know what to call it anymore." Eren slides his hands across the bed, by now he's identified where sounds come from and it didn't take long for him to grab Levi's hand. His larger hands feel far more delicate than Levi's smaller ones but he squeezes it in assurance anyway.

"I want to try and be optimistic all the time; I know I'm not the only one who's hurting. God, I tried to grab Mikasa's wrists yesterday and she's gotten so thin." A solitary tear escapes his eyes and Levi reaches out to wipe it and he doesn't flinch away.

"Is this normal?" His voice was broken and unsure, a far cry from the usual cheerful Eren.

"Yes it is. It wouldn't have been normal if you didn't feel that way." Eren does not let go of his hand instead he asked what the outside looked like.

"It's pretty hot outside so a few families are having a picnic by the park. There's a bird outside, you can probably hear it tapping against the glass…"

"Yeah, I do." Levi turns to Eren a bit, relieved to see a light smile on his face as he tries to envision his descriptions. Levi had always tried to describe everything in full detail everyday so that Eren would feel he could still see the world, although with a different pair of eyes.

He lets go of his hand for a minute to grab the new book he brought and they find a comfortable position to hold hands and share a story.

x

"Levi?" Eren had stopped him midway through the story, although his head is turned towards his direction Levi knows better than to feel awkward against that stare. The bandages covering his eyes had been long gone almost for a month now and Eren's piercing emerald green eyes are still beautiful to Levi. Of course, he doesn't voice this- he doesn't want the damn kid to gloat about it and by now their relationship has relaxed to the point where they can banter with each other. Still, Levi's always been cautious around Eren, and he briefly wonders why the kid had never asked about the guy that has caused his blindness.

"Do you think it's harder for the people who have been born blind, living I mean?" His voice doesn't sound resentful, just generally curious. Levi drops the book with a defeated sigh.

"I don't know I'm not blind, idiot." Eren's laugh irritates him and he thinks this kid would probably laugh at just about anything. It's annoying and endearing and he'd never thought he'd use both words at the same time.

"What I mean is…if you had another patient that's… like me only they were born into it? Do you think it's harder since they can't even imagine what's it like?" Levi tenses a bit. Eren had never asked about his work or other patients but he quickly calms himself knowing Eren would sense the hesitation in his voice. His detection is stronger than ever and he wouldn't risk it.

"That's private, you should know that." It was the first excuse that popped into his mind.

"Hmm, okay. Well I've always wondered. Before the accident, I've read that they would only dream about sounds and stuff"

"I guess, I can't really tell you what's true or not."

"Yeah. You know sometimes I want to give up…"

Levi grabbed Eren's hand harshly, "Don't say that, brat. There are a lot of people that love you."

"I wasn't finished. I said sometimes I want to give up and I would always tell myself I have to fight. You know why?" Levi had significantly calmed down but was still edgy. Eren took his silence a sign to continue.

"Because I want to see you someday." Levi had already seen him smile a lot of times, he wasn't a sad kid to begin with but the contented lift of his lips had Levi's heart thumping. He would like to say that Eren would only smile that way for him. _Only for him._

"Eren… I"

"I know I'm permanently blind but it doesn't hurt to hope." Their grips on each other had tightened but neither had noticed.

"It hurts when you're reaching for something you'll probably never have."

Eren doesn't reply and Levi's almost sorry to have shot down his dream too fast. Eren's hand slides away from his and his hands make a move to grab his again but were shoved away when Eren tried to get out of bed. He opens his mouth to ask Eren what the fuck he's doing but was already answered before he could even part his lips.

"I want to go outside; Mikasa said I look too pale."

With another sigh (Levi thinks he's been permanently sighing around this boy), he drops the book in his bag and reaches for Eren's walking stick as he guides Eren out the door.

x

The air is chilly and he curses himself for forgetting to bring Eren's coat. He drapes his own over the kid's figure and he murmurs his thanks. Eren would intermittently ask what everything looked like and he would try to describe in full detail. He would often grab a leaf to let Eren feel the texture of it, _'It's rough but delicate and I think it would crumble if I put too much pressure.' _has been Eren's reaction. It was almost as if he described their relationship but he bites his cheeks from saying that.

"I can smell popcorn, it is buttery and it smells hot." And Levi could only squeeze his hand in reassurance.

"Oh and I heard a balloon pop! Did you hear that? God that sounds amazing." He sounded like a kid in the circus, it's ridiculous but it doesn't stop the smile that crawled on Levi's face.

"Are you tired? Do you want to take a seat?"

"You sound worried, why?"

"Of course I am, it's almost sunset." Levi had pulled them near a bench and had assisted him so that he was able to sit.

"What does it look like?"

Levi doesn't sit down with him; he opts to stand so he could get a better view, _for Eren._

"It's beautiful… The sky is partly red and the orange is bleeding with it." Levi glances back to Eren, he looked as the same as every other time he would describe something. His lips are pursed in concentration but the ends are pulled into a smile. His eyes, although they cannot see, looked above as if they could and they shined brighter that the sun that time. He thinks it's perfectly Eren, it's lopsided and skewed but he wouldn't take him any other way. He tugs on Eren's hand and guides him back in the hospital.

x

Today had been pretty rough on Levi. Work had been a bitch and it had been raining. Usually rain didn't bother him that much but his car had taken the worst timing to break down which is why he's soaked to the bones when he arrived at the hospital. Luckily, Mikasa had been present and she grabbed him some of Eren's clothes for him to dry off into.

"Mika, I told you I'm fine by myself. I'm sure the nurses will help me if I need it."

Levi's interest piqued and he popped his head outside of the bathroom. The two teens both looked tired and defeated.

"What do you mean?" Levi asked.

"I can't sleep here tonight I have a double shift so…"

"That doesn't sound healthy." Levi lightly scolded. Mikasa could only throw him a sorry-not-sorry look and she resumed arguing with her brother.

"Yeah it's not healthy! Tell her, Levi!"

"Wait, you need someone to take care of Eren tonight?" He smoothes the creases on the clothes and stuffs his wet clothing on his bag.

"Yeah, are you free?" She shamelessly asked and he's used to it by now so he waves it off.

"I can stay."

"Oh god you're amazing and I love you. Make sure he drinks this-" She shoves a bottle of medicine on his chest which he gingerly took, "- and let him do some exercises. Oh and he really loves those stories you tell him."

"God Mikasa, you sound just like mom." She ignores his comment and she grabs the back of his head to place a kiss on his forehead.

"Love you, Eren."

"Love you more, Mikasa." She grabs her bag and gives Levi a grateful grin as she leaves. He felt sorry for the girl and had often voiced it out sometimes but she would always shrug it off saying that it makes her happy to know that she's taking care of Eren. She had arranged everything for him so that when he finishes rehabilitation he'll be able to go back to school with a breeze. He would lose his soccer scholarship, however, and she had already informed him that- he cried quite a few times over him but in all fairness to him, he took it very well. Since Levi had insisted to pay for everything, she had saved up the money she had been working on for Eren's school fees and much to her dismay Levi had adamantly offered help for his tuition. She reluctantly accepted it and sometimes it's enough to lighten the burden Levi feels.

"She really needs to get some rest." Eren mumbled more to himself than to Levi. He turned his head towards the older man when he heard the familiar screech of the chair being drawn closer to him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked systematically.

"Worried about Mikasa." Levi noticed his hands are fiddling with his hospital sheets; he seemed tense over the matter. He grabs both of them, they're cold but they feel like home so he bites back the remark about his temperature.

"She'll be fine; she's a big girl now." Eren's frown buries deeper.

"I know but I feel like a burden to her."

"Hey, don't say that. You know for the four months we've been together I've never seen her sad when she's taking care of you. She's happy to do it, trust me."

To his relief, Eren's mood brightens and it makes him feel special knowing that he was able to help.

"I trust you." His tone took a different route, almost husky and rough and it burns Levi's neck with an unfamiliar sensation. He clears his throat.

"So uh, it's raining today…" He faces the window to get a better look. "There are hardly any people outside, just the people going home and a few cars…" He continued, "There's a black umbrella left carelessly down the street, it looks broken but I'm not entirely sure."

"Levi?" Eren laces his fingers with his and he circles his thumb against his pale flesh. It soothes the both of them and no one makes an attempt to pull away.

"Hm?"

"What do you look like?" The question throws Levi off his guard. He had answered quite a few weird musings from the kid but never something so… intimate.

"Uh, I'm fairly short, I have black hair and grey eyes…" Unsure how to continue, instead he places both of Eren's hands above his cheeks.

"You can feel if you want." So, he does. He lets his thumbs brush over Levi's long lashes, they're a bit moist from the shower, Levi's eyes shut close at the sensation- he lets himself feel as well. Eren continued the path over his eyes, they're deep and they feel tired against his skin, the traces the long lines of the circles under his eyes. His hands travel lower to his nose, they're pert and small- they seem unimportant but it's very *_Levi*_ and he doesn't have any other word that would best describe his nose. He could feel short puffs of breath being exhaled as he trails the outline of his lips, they're thin and small but they feel perfect and he knows, _just knows_ that his lips would feel perfect against his. He treads his hands at the back of Levi's head and he pulls him closer, the other man didn't protest instead he lets himself be pulled.

Their breaths mingle and marry with each other, it's warm and cozy- although their position is awkward so Levi closes the gap and he lets himself taste Eren.

It was sweet and slow, just like them. If only it was built on trust it could've been sweeter, he thinks but he lets himself savor the taste, he darts his tongue out to push against Eren's lip seeking a multitude of things…

_His forgiveness, his understanding, his permission and ultimately~ his love._

Eren lets him deepen their kiss; it doesn't progress to anything heavier, they just let themselves _feel._ When Levi pulls away, he rests his forehead against Eren's and he hopes that maybe, just maybe Eren had felt everything he couldn't say.

They didn't talk about their kiss, they continue with a reading from a book- even if something magical has happened it weighed heavy on both of their hearts. They fell asleep with Levi holding Eren's hand while he's still seated evidently on the bedside chair.

x

The day they decided to finally talk about the kiss, it has been six months after the accident. After the usual routine they fall into Eren had requested for another walk and Levi had obliged.

"The sun feels great on my cheeks. I hope I don't get sunburn." Their intertwined hands serve as a connection for Levi to tow him forward.

"Kid?"

"I told you I'm not a kid anymore…"

"Yeah shut up." Eren's smug grin diminished some of his uneasiness.

"About that night-"He couldn't stop the slight quiver that mixed with his words.

"I'm not a hypothesis, Levi. I'm not a scientific guess. You can just ask me and I'll answer you, you don't have to worry about being wrong. I can hear the hesitation in your voice and I don't want to hear it ever again." He frowned.

"Do you want to be with me, Levi?" They stop walking. The faint sounds of children laughing and ice cream bells couldn't disguise the loud pounding of their hearts.

"We can't, you know that."

"That's bullshit and you know it." He didn't know how to respond, everything about Eren had been a crawl in darkness for him and today's no exception.

"Do you love me?" _What?_ He didn't even think about that word ever before, he certainly will not start now.

"Let's not do this. I know where this is going to go, I just wanted to tell you that kiss was a mistake and it should never happen again, ok?" He tugged on Eren's hands to lead him back to the hospital.

"It didn't feel like a mistake to me- it's the most vivid thing I've experienced for the past 6 months…" He wanted to tell him he felt the same but he couldn't be too selfish. It's bad enough he's deluding the kid, he can't lead him on too.

"I really like you, Levi. You made me see things that I didn't even see even when I still had my sense of sight…"

"Let's just get back." Their hands clench tighter together, letting their heat say whatever it is their mouths cannot.

x

A few weeks has passed since then. Levi had felt like something's going to happen but he couldn't pin point it exactly.

"Levi, you're not really a psychiatrist are you?" He stops peeling the piece of banana he's been preparing for Eren to eat. He drops it and tries to pick it up but his tense muscles are frozen, just as much as his tongue. His eyes are wide, he's stuck solid and he's unable to speak. He could just escape and leave and—

"I know you were the one I crashed into that day. Mikasa wouldn't have asked for a psychiatrist since we can't afford it. That and I knew your name from the start, Mikasa told me that night…"

Levi's eyes are darting furiously unsure of what to do. He felt the same emotions he felt that night: fear, anger, confusion and guilt.

"I knew from the start, Levi. I asked you if you were the psychiatrist because I wanted to meet you. I didn't want you to feel guilty. I knew- no I still know it was my fault that night and that I never blamed you. I wanted you to tell me the truth but it never came…"

Tears spill from both of their eyes, Eren's emerald orbs are clouded with uncertainty and truth while Levi's stormy eyes are a rainbow of emotions.

"I tried to help you ease some of the guilt but in the end," He chokes. "You were the one who helped me."

Eren searches the sheets for Levi's cold hands; it was his source of warmth for the few months they've been together.

"And even if you won't let me… I love you, Levi."

Eren turns to the direction from where the sharp gasp came from, his face is wet from the tears but a smile rests on his lips.

"I got to go…" Levi reluctantly snatched his hands away from him and both miss the contact already but they both decide against voicing it.

"Okay but, will you take this with you?" Eren hands him a tattered red journal, it's filthy and is dog-eared on some of the pages but he takes it cautiously. He places it in his bag and stands up, staring at Eren's tear-stained face. He wanted to say he loves him too but it wasn't right. They could not build a relationship based on a lie.

He allows himself the luxury of giving Eren a chaste kiss on the lips as he exits his hospital room. He knows he would never come back.

x

He sinks himself by the wall, permitting some of his tears to fall. He pulls out the ratty journal and he casually browses the writings. Most of them had been about his daily life, about school and how over-bearing Mikasa is sometimes and he snickers at this. Eren's handwriting is almost as angry as he is, he notes. There was an entry the day before the accident but after that he was only met with blank pages. He closes the journal face down and fingers the back cover, it has a bookmark and he opens the page. He holds his breath when he sees almost illegible scrawls that were dated yesterday.

_Last week I've been starting to see blobs of color. I asked the doctor about this and he said it was a miracle. Miracle, I mean wow. I didn't think I'd witness one in my lifetime much less than experience it for myself- but here I am writing again on my journal. I used to take these things for granted before, now they're a whole other level. I guess I can thank Levi for that. _

_I know he's about to leave. I could see it in his eyes- it feels detached. I mean, wow I can even notice that now? It feels like I'm being reborn!_

_Levi, if you're reading this it probably means that you're not going to visit me anymore and that's okay. I'm not mad at you. I can't see much yet, just blurry figures and a few facial expressions but that's more than enough for me now and it's all because of you. You're my miracle I know it- don't be so cynical! You've let me see so much beauty in the world even whenever I open my eyes all I could see was darkness. _

_I hope that when my sight is restored I can find you so we can have a proper relationship. One that isn't clouded with guilt or pity? If that's okay of course. I'll find you~ I promise._

Levi closed his eyes to let the words sink in. He'll forget about this boy and try to get on with his life, it is only fitting- this is a new chapter for them. He'll get better for Eren too, so when they meet again he'll be able to make him see a better man.

He pushes himself away from the wall and tries to steady his emotions. He forced down the tears that were attempting to fall from his eyes and promised himself he'll cry when he's alone and the weight of his decision will finally be heavy on his heart.

x

_Eren's doing better now, he says his head hurts less and he sees more things every day. He really wants to see you._

_-Mikasa sent: 4:55 pm February 14, 2014_

Levi shuts his cell phone, he sighs in satisfaction. He could at least have this, and he's thankful for Mikasa even though he never responds to her texts.

"Levi, do you want to celebrate with us? There's a new pub downtown…" Hanji's head popped into vision and he gives them a tired smile and a resolute shake of his head. Even if he always said no to their invitations, they try anyway.

Hanji nods in understanding and they follow the usual clatter of nonsensical chatter that's usually accompanied by the group.

Today had been a busy day for them, they had just landed another promising account and Levi wanted nothing more to wallow in self-pity in his cold apartment. He idly notes that it's Valentine's Day and it's completely idiotic but he feels alone more than ever.

He could at least say that at least once in his life he was needed.

He gathers his belongings and heads home, his keys banging against his pockets makes the deafening silence more bearable.

The drive home was fairly quick; most of the couples are out so there's little traffic. The doorman's half asleep and is barely conscious at this point. Still, he gives a stiff nod at the yawning man and he enters the elevator. He presses the number 4 and waits patiently for the distinctive ding, subconsciously bobbing his head with the beat of the horrible elevator music. The ding pierces his ears and he exits, he drags along the familiar hallway, patting his pockets for his keys but stops short when there was a figure curled up against his doorway. The lighting is dim so he steps closer to get a better view of the seemingly asleep figure.

His heart skips a beat as recognition sets in. Dark brown hair, lanky figure, tall and sun-kissed skinned. Eren. Eren _fucking _Jaeger.

Eren found him.

_Finally._

* * *

I'm sorry about those paragraph breaks, I'm lazy and I suck- I know! Anyway I *think* I'll be writing a fluffier sequel to this, let me know if you want one, i guess.


	2. Sequel

Sorry this is a bit late, I really had a hard time on whether or not I should put this out since it's so... meh. Honestly, not my proudest moment but I do hope you'll enjoy this anyhow, it's kinda just a fic where it answers all the questions about their relationship, etc, etc... yeah... anyway thatnk you for the most amazing feed backs! I did not expect them at all because I'm well aware of the face that I am a crappy writer, lol. Don't let me stop you and enjoy this fic, please :)

* * *

Levi prodded Eren with the tip of his shoes, nudging him awake as he peered at him lightly. Eren groaned-his mind still foggy with sleep and he looks up at his assailant. He squints his eyes to get a better view, focusing his vision on the man staring down at him.

"Levi…?" His voice hoarse with dreams, _'God, I missed him'_ had been swimming on Levi's thoughts.

"Yeah. Get up, kiddo." He grabs Eren by his forearms to help him up. Eren buries his face on his other arm and wipes the grogginess from his eyes. Remembering his walking stick, he pushes it below him to get a better leverage to stand up.

"I'm not a kid anymore." Levi laughs and nods his head, grabbing his keys from his pockets. He opens the door to his apartment and lets Eren in.

He forgot how much taller Eren was compared to him so when the door was securely closed; Eren had no problem with trapping him between his body and the door. The action took him by surprise and he opened his mouth to complain but was silenced easily by a kiss.

"I'm not a kid anymore" He repeats and Levi nodded in agreement. This definitely isn't how to treat a kid.

One of Eren's hand snaked its way at the small of his back while the other was clenched above him effectively trapping him. The kiss was demanding and desperate, it was nothing like the tender kiss they've shared one year ago.

Eren's lips felt hot against his, it burned him out of his mind and even more so when Eren's tongue begged for entrance. He opened his mouth, he couldn't stop the moan that slipped when he did and it fueled the boy's actions even further. Eren mashed their bodies closer- _closer because, damn he couldn't get enough and he needs this, absolutely needs this. _He lets him and he allows himself to lace his hands at Eren's nape, subsequently closing in further-_he needs it just as much as he does_.

Their kiss wasn't a battle of dominance; it was an understanding- Eren had the upper hand while Levi obliged his every whim. He lets Eren bite his lower lips even when it drew blood. He lets Eren lick it off tenderly only to be bitten again on another spot. He loves it and he's soaking it in.

Eren pushes him away and he couldn't stop the hurt that crossed his eyes. Eren runs his thumb across Levi's lips- they're red and bleeding and it elated him even more.

"You're more handsome than I have imagined." He laughs at Levi's pout and kissed it tenderly. It was gentle enough to let Levi think he's asking for an apology for the previous kiss. He hungrily takes it, but was pushed away the second time.

"You're too eager. Let me breathe a bit."

"You had a year to do that." Deadpanned, he leans in for another kiss to wipe away Eren's smug smile. He places a chaste kiss on his lips before drawing lower to his neck. He licks a spot between the junction of his collar and his neck. He finds a sweet spot where Eren moans low and sighs and he latches his tongue and teeth on the flesh. He bites and sucks hard, he's sure it's going to leave a mark, _good. _

"I've missed you so much, Levi." Erens hands grasp his shoulders as he sucks harder.

"Oh god… you're- mmm" Levi could taste his pulse from the spot; it was beating wildly on his tongue. Eren's head is thrown back giving him better access to his neck, he appreciates it and he quests himself to find another sensitive spot. He finds one- just below his ears and it makes the other man wither and gasp loudly on his ears.

"Levi-?"

"Hmm…?" He stops his ministrations to lock gazes with Eren's emerald eyes; _they're just as he remembers them._ It's perfect and he's glad, 'cause he wouldn't want it any other way.

"Will you go out with me?" His eyes were shining with sincerity and nervousness, as if he's afraid he'll say no.

"Of course, you idiot." Their lips find each other again.

X

Eren had settled himself comfortably on Levi's couch and had been rattling about what had happened to him for the past year they were apart. Needless to say, it took every ounce of Levi's energy not to fall asleep on him.

Eren's hands laced with his in a familiar way- he couldn't help but think that out of everything he did in his life, holding his hand made the most sense. He smiles lazily, drowsy and he lays his head on the boy's shoulders.

"Hey- are you listening?" Eren peeks down; his eyes were half way closed, and he was stifling the yawn with the back of his hand.

"Do you want me to carry you to bed?" Levi rubs his head on Eren's shoulder and murmured a soft, _no._ He smiles at Levi.

"I guess I'll leave you here then?" He made a move to leave but a hand stopped him.

"No, stay with me…"

"Okay." Wrapping one of his arms around Levi, he pulls him closer so that he could snuggle his smaller body on his shoulders.

"…Forever?"

"As if I'll let you out of my sight again."

X

The next morning Levi had expected Eren to be long gone. He was far too groggy last night to remember asking him to stay so he was pleasantly surprised when he wakes up pressed against Eren. He could really get used to this and it doesn't bother him as much as he had wanted to.

He settles back into the warm body trying to get into a more comfortable position but instead he had elbowed Eren's stomach hard. The latter groaned in a mix of pain and haze from sleep but still had enough threshold to slit open one eye.

"Sorry," He finds the perfect spot and buries his head on Eren's shoulders. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Levi."

They make no attempts to move from their place, too contented to even lift their heads up. Eren's stomach had other plans however, it growled rather loudly and Eren groaned in embarrassment.

Levi hoists himself up to make breakfast but was stopped when a hand slipped on his waist to pull him closer. Eren lifts his chin towards his face to get a good stare at Levi further, his lazy smile effectively fogging Levi's thoughts. When Eren tried to pull in closer, Levi had forcefully moved off him and ignored the exaggerated pained look on Eren's face.

"Your breath smells bad." Eren laughed and proceeded to follow Levi to the kitchen while exhaling loudly just to earn a reaction from Levi.

X

"How's Mikasa?" Levi placed pancakes in front of Eren and the boy looked like he was going to devour it in one breath. He stuffs his face with food, chewing loudly just as Levi had remembered it. He probably should reprimand him for his lack of manners but just being with Eren had him throw away all of his ideals that he didn't knew he had before. This was okay.

"Mmm," He swallows a mouthful of food "She's okay, she just graduated last month so she's got a better job now and she wants to move in with her boyfriend." One of Levi's eyebrows rose.

"What about you, then?"

"Eh? I suppose I'll just stay at the same apartment. I have a job anyway and it pays well, and in one year's time I'll graduate!" He beams towards Levi as he proudly announces this.

Levi mulled over the matter. He really didn't want Eren to be living alone especially since the kid had told him he still had problems with his eyes. On the other hand though, it would be selfish for him to ask Mikasa to stay when it would make her happy to go on off with her boyfriend.

So, that leaves him with one choice but it felt too soon and too forward for him to offer so he pushes it at the back of his mind.

"Hey, Levi?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to go on a date with me?" He found himself liking the suggestion very much.

It's cold outside and it was post-valentine's day when they went out. Eren was still wearing yesterday's clothes and despite being nitpicky with cleanliness, Levi had found that he didn't care at all.

Eren's hand had fished its way through his and laced them regardless of Levi's half-assed protest not to do so. Eren had only smiled at him knowingly as he continued dragging the smaller man towards a warm image of a coffee shop. Levi inwardly shivered at the thought.

They had pushed their way in, the aroma of coffee and pastry filling their senses. It was a bit crowded with the post-coital that was brought by Valentine's Day looming around the air. Levi tugged on Eren's coat his smile more effective than the heater in warming his cheeks.

"I don't drink coffee." Levi stated. Eren only smiled as if already knowing this fact.

"I know, that's why I brought you to a place with tea," He nudges his head towards the direction of the menu. "You can sit and relax, get yourself warm. I'll order for us, I know how you like your tea."

"Let me p-"

"Nah, I'm good. I'm the one who asked you out anyway, yeah?" Levi reluctantly nodded and found a seat for them.

X

"How did you know that I like my tea black?" Levi's brows push in quizzical curiosity. He had never told Eren how he liked his tea so it came as a surprise that he even guessed right.

"You bought some with you at the hospital remember?" Eren stated as if it would trigger a memory for Levi. When Levi's face was still scrunched in confusion he continued, "I took a sip and figured out how you liked your tea."

Levi's face coiled into further puzzlement.

"Heightened senses, remember?"

"Oh…" He could only remark dumbly. That makes sense, he supposes.

They continue sipping on their drinks and catching up with each other as the day slowly closes in.

It was dark when they decided to head home and Levi had insisted to accompany Eren. He had wanted to at least say hi to Mikasa and maybe thank her for everything she had done from them so he had stood his ground even after Eren had insisted he would be fine.

They quickly fall into a comfortable silence with their hands interlaced and their shoulders touching. Both of their faces were flushed with nervousness, and their thoughts filled with giddy satisfaction of being together at last.

Levi, however had quietly pondered about something and asked Eren.

"How did you find me by the way?" Eren stopped walking and had shifted his head to avert Levi's stare.

"Uh, it's kinda embarrassing…" He trails off, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand to dispel some discomfort.

"Tell me."

"I asked Mikasa if she knew your address. Of course she didn't, but she did know your office number from the business card you gave her… during the accident…?"

Levi nodded, remembering the action.

"Yeah, so I called and this person called Hanji answered…" He peeks cautiously to check Levi's reaction. He was nudged to continue.

"Uhm, they gave me your address when I told them that I was your boyfriend." Levi's face was a funny mixture of shock and confusion that led Eren to panic and stumble on his words.

"I-I told y-you! It's embarrassing! Oh god, you hate me no-"

"No, I don't hate you. Just surprised." He takes Eren's blushing face closer to his with a tug on his shirt. Eren obliges and they share another kiss.

X

"Oh my god! Levi! Long time no see!" Mikasa practically jumped on his arms the moment she had seen him poking behind Eren. She didn't even bother greeting her brother, instead she fussed over Levi.

"I missed you! You never returned any of my texts! You jerk!" She was half hugging him, half lightly punching him and his body quaked with laughter.

"Sorry, I just really needed all the time to think." She nods her head in understanding and she prods her way to the kitchen. Their apartment was small so it wasn't hard to talk to her while she was preparing something.

"Can I offer you a drink?" She pokes her head behind the refrigerator.

"Nah, I'm okay."

"Hmm.. well I was planning on heading out. I've got a date tonight," She hides her shy smile behind her hand, "And I supposed you two would want time for yourselves, yeah?"

Eren vigorously nods his head and Levi could only tug on his collar.

"Okay, well don't wait up Eren. I love you both!" She kisses them both on their foreheads and she heads out the door but was stopped when Levi's hands close in her wrists.

"Hey, I just want to say thank you. For everything." She beams and nods, Levi returns her smile.

"No problem Levi. Don't hurt my brother okay, 'cause I already like you and I don't want to kill you." She laughs and waves at the both of them, ignoring Levi's startled face.

X

Eren had dragged Levi in his room to relax as he insisted he took a shower. It was a little small and dingy but Eren claimed it was fine since he could only afford as much.

When he had finished his shower, Levi was already half asleep on his small bed as he slipped on a pair of boxers. He settles himself on top of Levi and the other man moaned at the weight.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't respond instead he kissed Levi's neck, the same spot he had just found yesterday and left open-mouthed kisses along them. He sucked them hard, leaving marks at his wake and licking it afterwards as if he was cleaning Levi's wounds. Levi squirmed in arousal at the contact, his mind starting to feel hazy.

He pulls Eren's face to his and plants a soft kiss at the corners of his mouth. Eren pulls away and stood up from the bed much to Levi's dismay. His face must've been a picture of pathetic desperation as Eren soothed him with words, "I'm just going to get something, and I'll be right back." He disappeared from the room and re-emerges minutes later with a familiar book in his hands and a large smile on his face.

"You've left this at the hospital…you didn't finish it..." He explains as he flips the pages of the book fondly.

"Do you want me to read it to you?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

The bed creaks underneath Eren when he sinks in beside him, it wasn't loud but it was enough to remind Levi what he had thought about earlier.

Before he had the chance to back out, he had already opened his mouth.

"Eren, do you want to move-in with me?"

Eren, shell-shocked, had slowly nodded his head.

* * *

Ehhhhh... yeah I'm sorry. Please don't hate me!


End file.
